Aging....it's a part of life one can not avoid. Many do their best to prevent it as long as possible and try to mask it with cosmetics, pharmaceuticals or even go as far to have surgery. And then there are people like me who are just completely dumb-founded. "When did I get these wrinkles around my eyes?" "What is this dark spot?" "Is this really my arm?" "My hands looks weird".
Not only am I increasingly noticing differences in my physical appearance, I've noticed how much I ache more than usual (however, I do attribute a good majority of those aches and pains to the injuries I received playing roller derby for three years, ha!). I've noticed I'm not as agile or as coordinated as I used to be. I've also noticed that I fear physical harm more than I ever have before. When once I would have loved the opportunity to skydive or bungee jump or skate a half-pipe, I know my nerves would get the better of me now. (Okay, well maybe I still might try the half-pipe!)
And last but not least, and probably what I feel more than any of the aforementioned "whiny-ness", I have noticed that my old ideals of "fun" are not so fun anymore. Nights of closing down the bar and hitting up taco bell on the way home have long been replaced with dinner parties and book club. I have found that I would much rather stay home with my dog than do most anything anymore. Not saying that I have become an anti-social couch potato, just that I prefer a much simpler life these days and I am finally making peace with it.
It's been just a little over three months since I bought my house which I now call home. I have been completely encompassed with renovating it and I am loving every minute of it. I have finally started to hang photos and add personal touches here and there and it's really starting to feel more like a home to me than any place has in quite a while. A friend of mine at work said I'm "nesting". Maybe I am. I found where I want to be. I found my home.
Growing up is weird. And while yes, I am grown up, you never really stop growing up, ya dig? Life changes. You change, physically, mentally, spiritually. It's really a beautiful thing. And though I am somewhat dumbfounded by it all, I'm doing my best to embrace it and listen to what my heart really wants. And what I want is pretty simple. Peace. Simplicity. Love. I get closer to it every day.
