Standing Still.....

As of late, my mind has been muddled with "things".  Over the years I have noticed that I never fail to over-extend myself, to fill my free time so that there is no free time.  Always so eager to please those around me that I often put their needs before my own.  Saying "no" is rarely an option for me.  And oh, how I loathe this character trait deeply embedded within myself.  I have often tried to eliminate it's very existence and have witnessed moments of success, but sadly, they are fleeting.  It's a vicious cycle and one that often brings about dreams of the west coast.  Away from all I know.  A fresh start.  

Standing still......it is something  I am learning to do.  To live in a moment and not demand entertainment.  What is wrong with silence?  Nothing.  Absolutely nothing.

It's time to feel more connected to the earth and less connected to distractions. Lessen the load.....physically and mentally.  I need to refocus.  I have let this society suck me back into its poisoned well.  The stench is suffocating.  Time to climb out, rise above, experience the dizzied rush of sun-soaked skin and wind-whipped hair.  Revel in the deep and peaceful breaths of freedom.

Life isn't meant to be a burden.  It is meant to live, experience, grow, learn and enjoy.  Eagerly let go of anything and anyone that weighs you down, for we are all meant to fly.

Just Like a Mother Loves Her Child...

I do not want children.

I don't say this because I do not like kids.  Truth is, I adore kids.....especially my nieces and nephews (of which I have 5 each).  I say this because I have never had a true desire to bring a child into this world, more so now than ever before.  I don't really have an exact reason for not wanting children other than the desire for such in non-existent.

I do tire of  those that question my judgement, however.  As though there is something wrong with me for not wanting a child.  Guess what?  There is nothing wrong with me.  I think knowing what I want and don't want is everything that is right for me.

Besides........I already am a mother.  A mother of three adorable, fuzzy, four-legged animals that fill my heart with joy every day.  Gato, my oldest cat, just turned 15.  Kitty, my youngest cat will be 13 in September.  Cooper, my love, my dog.....will be 4 in June.  Everyday, I feed them, love them, play with them, care for them, clean up their poop and create a budget that includes the very best I can give them.  Cooper even has full medical coverage and a $50 haircut a month.  So, yes I am a mother.....and a damned good one, too.

Yesterday was one of those days you wish never happened.  I had noticed in the last two weeks that my baby girl, Gato was acting abnormal.  Long story short, I found out  yesterday that she has diabetes.  While trying to contain my overwhelming emotional sadness, I learned to how to administer an insulin shot and exactly what was happening physically to my baby. 

It was only 10 months ago that I lost my cat, CC, to congestive heart failure.  She was 13.  The absolute pain of losing her has subsided some but it still hurts deeply.  When I learned of Gato's condition, it took everything I had not to break down.

I'm a happy girl, happy by choice.  I choose to look at the bright side.  While the news was shocking, I realized it was a blessing to have brought her in.  Now I know how to take care of her.  Now I can give her a better life for her remaining years.  Giving insulin shots twice a day is merely a minor adjustment and I will do everything I can to make her happy and comfortable.

Because I love her........just like a mother loves her child.

"What Do You Do?"

There is a question that exists in this world that people frequently ask.  It's a question that I dislike, however I find myself asking others the same thing.  That question is, "What do you do?"  It's such a vague question and depending on the individual being asked, the answer can be quite vague as well or sometimes overly informative.

The reason why I dislike the question is this; I do not like to define myself by my employment.  So...."What do I do?"  I am an office manager for an electrical contractor.  40 hours a week I sit behind a desk and push paper around, direct phone calls, dabble in accounting, payroll, insurance and human resources.  A collection of duties that truly do not inspire me at all but manages to pay my bills and reward me with a comfortable lifestyle.  That is my answer and yet, it isn't.  Don't get me wrong, I do like my job, but my job does not define me as an individual.

I think the better question to ask is; "Who are you?"

Who am I? 

Who I am is this; a musician, an artist, a dreamer, a friend.  There are so many aspects to who I am as an individual that make answering the question "What do you do?" difficult to convey in casual conversation.

I dream of a world no longer dependent upon a failing monetary system.  A world in which once asked the proposed question, I can give my true answer.  But sadly, I don't think I'll ever live to see that world.  Money truly is the root of all evil.

I'm really not sure where I'm going with this blog, but this thought was on my mind.

Music - it's what I do.  It's what I love.  It's what I spent four years of my life earning a college degree in, yet I often put it on the back-burner.  I have done so especially in the past three years while I took the time-out to be a rock-star roller derby girl.  Not that I regret doing so, it was truly an amazing experience and one that I will treasure for the rest of my life.....even if it has left my body in poor condition.  Ha!  But, I have been taking baby steps back into this dream of mine.  I want to be a songwriter.....always have.  And while yes, I am a songwriter, I want to do it professionally.  Good things are happening right now and I hope they continue down that path.

I'll never give up this dream because it will never stop dancing in my veins.  We are one.

Please take a listen to my new song, "34".

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4S-sityDI20&list=UUESgeGpnXgUASuF20QvUeDw&index=1&feature=plcp

Thrifty Gift Idea

This past Christmas I decided to do my best to create Christmas gifts instead of purchasing them and if I did purchase, I purchased wisely (shopped local, hunted flea markets and used book stores, etc.) you know, to do my part and all.

It was great fun, but I must admit that my favorite gift I made was for my parents.  I created "Memory Jars".  A memory jar is essentially a jar filled with memories written down on individual pieces of paper from various friends and family.  I started collecting memories in October and ended up with quite a few.  The goal was to have them open the jar and read one memory a day.  (I think they ended up reading them all at once, though!  And that's totally okay.)  All in all, the Memory Jar gift was a huge success and I'd like to share it with you!

First on the list was finding the perfect jars.  I wanted them to be a flea-market find with an antique-feel.  I scored.  I found these two antique mason jars for $4 a piece.

Mind you, these are larger than they appear....

Next step was glazing to keep nosy eyes from peeking!  I accomplished this by using white acrylic paint.  I put a small amount of the paint in a bowl and diluted it with a bit of water.  I then transferred the paint mixture into the jar and I rolled the jar around until every inch of it's interior was coated.  I put the jars  upside down on a paper towel to dry.  I repeated this step twice.

Once dried, I wrote each memory down on it's own piece of paper, folded them and put them in the jar.  I used a little raffia grass for a cute touch and made name tags from paper bags.  Luckily for me.....I already had the string and paint so this project only cost me $8 for two gifts.  Pretty thrifty, huh?   But if you wanted to purchase the raffia and the paint you could very easily do so without spending a lot of money.  Raffia will cost you a couple of dollars and  you can purchase a small tube of acrylic paint for around .60 cents.  

***Finished Product***

Forgot to get wrapping paper?  Here's an idea that's not only resourceful, but fun, too.  Grab your favorite magazine, tear out your favorite pages, tape them together and.....boom.  Wrapping paper.  It's quirky and I like it.

Proof.....you don't need a lot of money to make a big impact, you just need a little effort.  I'd take a homemade gift over a store-bought one any day. 

Feel free to use this idea and warm someones heart!

~Sylvie

More than a dog....

A few months ago I was strolling through a local doggie boutique with the love of my  life, my dog, Cooper.  ***Happily inserts adorable picture here***

I came across a doggie picture frame that I dearly wanted....it read "Now I Know What Love Is".  This simple statement made so much sense to me.  I mean, sure I've loved before, but until Cooper came into my life, I never understood what unconditional love really meant. 

I didn't buy the frame (It was nearly $40! Seriously?)  but the phrase stuck with me.  About a month later, I found a cheap 8x10 frame for $2 and I painted it.  Now it is proudly displayed in a quaint 1940s condo I currently call my home. 

Sounds silly, but this little frame I created means a great deal to me.  It serves as a reminder that life can be simple and full of love, that happiness does truly exist.  Happiness isn't material driven, happiness is a wagging tail.  Happiness isn't beating your competitors, happiness is a walk around the block.  Happiness isn't being comfortable in a conformed society, happiness is an unexpected tongue up your nostril. 

Simple....simpler....simply.  Cooper is my heart, my world.  He makes me want to be a better person.  He's the reason I go home every day on my lunch break.  He's the reason I am happier than I have ever been.

Almost four years ago, I fell in love with a 2 1/2 lb. fur face.  10 lbs later, he is my best everything....yet he has no idea how much he has changed my life for the better and healed my soul.  He's more than a dog, he's my life.