As of late, my mind has been muddled with "things". Over the years I have noticed that I never fail to over-extend myself, to fill my free time so that there is no free time. Always so eager to please those around me that I often put their needs before my own. Saying "no" is rarely an option for me. And oh, how I loathe this character trait deeply embedded within myself. I have often tried to eliminate it's very existence and have witnessed moments of success, but sadly, they are fleeting. It's a vicious cycle and one that often brings about dreams of the west coast. Away from all I know. A fresh start.
Standing still......it is something I am learning to do. To live in a moment and not demand entertainment. What is wrong with silence? Nothing. Absolutely nothing.
It's time to feel more connected to the earth and less connected to distractions. Lessen the load.....physically and mentally. I need to refocus. I have let this society suck me back into its poisoned well. The stench is suffocating. Time to climb out, rise above, experience the dizzied rush of sun-soaked skin and wind-whipped hair. Revel in the deep and peaceful breaths of freedom.
Life isn't meant to be a burden. It is meant to live, experience, grow, learn and enjoy. Eagerly let go of anything and anyone that weighs you down, for we are all meant to fly.
Wednesday, April 25, 2012
Tuesday, April 10, 2012
Just Like a Mother Loves Her Child...
I do not want children.
I don't say this because I do not like kids. Truth is, I adore kids.....especially my nieces and nephews (of which I have 5 each). I say this because I have never had a true desire to bring a child into this world, more so now than ever before. I don't really have an exact reason for not wanting children other than the desire for such in non-existent.
I do tire of those that question my judgement, however. As though there is something wrong with me for not wanting a child. Guess what? There is nothing wrong with me. I think knowing what I want and don't want is everything that is right for me.
Besides........I already am a mother. A mother of three adorable, fuzzy, four-legged animals that fill my heart with joy every day. Gato, my oldest cat, just turned 15. Kitty, my youngest cat will be 13 in September. Cooper, my love, my dog.....will be 4 in June. Everyday, I feed them, love them, play with them, care for them, clean up their poop and create a budget that includes the very best I can give them. Cooper even has full medical coverage and a $50 haircut a month. So, yes I am a mother.....and a damned good one, too.
Yesterday was one of those days you wish never happened. I had noticed in the last two weeks that my baby girl, Gato was acting abnormal. Long story short, I found out yesterday that she has diabetes. While trying to contain my overwhelming emotional sadness, I learned to how to administer an insulin shot and exactly what was happening physically to my baby.
It was only 10 months ago that I lost my cat, CC, to congestive heart failure. She was 13. The absolute pain of losing her has subsided some but it still hurts deeply. When I learned of Gato's condition, it took everything I had not to break down.
I'm a happy girl, happy by choice. I choose to look at the bright side. While the news was shocking, I realized it was a blessing to have brought her in. Now I know how to take care of her. Now I can give her a better life for her remaining years. Giving insulin shots twice a day is merely a minor adjustment and I will do everything I can to make her happy and comfortable.
Because I love her........just like a mother loves her child.
I don't say this because I do not like kids. Truth is, I adore kids.....especially my nieces and nephews (of which I have 5 each). I say this because I have never had a true desire to bring a child into this world, more so now than ever before. I don't really have an exact reason for not wanting children other than the desire for such in non-existent.
I do tire of those that question my judgement, however. As though there is something wrong with me for not wanting a child. Guess what? There is nothing wrong with me. I think knowing what I want and don't want is everything that is right for me.
Besides........I already am a mother. A mother of three adorable, fuzzy, four-legged animals that fill my heart with joy every day. Gato, my oldest cat, just turned 15. Kitty, my youngest cat will be 13 in September. Cooper, my love, my dog.....will be 4 in June. Everyday, I feed them, love them, play with them, care for them, clean up their poop and create a budget that includes the very best I can give them. Cooper even has full medical coverage and a $50 haircut a month. So, yes I am a mother.....and a damned good one, too.
Yesterday was one of those days you wish never happened. I had noticed in the last two weeks that my baby girl, Gato was acting abnormal. Long story short, I found out yesterday that she has diabetes. While trying to contain my overwhelming emotional sadness, I learned to how to administer an insulin shot and exactly what was happening physically to my baby.
It was only 10 months ago that I lost my cat, CC, to congestive heart failure. She was 13. The absolute pain of losing her has subsided some but it still hurts deeply. When I learned of Gato's condition, it took everything I had not to break down.
I'm a happy girl, happy by choice. I choose to look at the bright side. While the news was shocking, I realized it was a blessing to have brought her in. Now I know how to take care of her. Now I can give her a better life for her remaining years. Giving insulin shots twice a day is merely a minor adjustment and I will do everything I can to make her happy and comfortable.
Because I love her........just like a mother loves her child.
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